Announcing it!!!

So I have sent out announcements to my family and started to be more free about my new joy! Pregnancy! It is amazing the reactions I am getting.  All positive, I guess it is because they are probably thinking well it just about time. LOL

I made a side comment on Twitter the other day, and a couple of people caught on, which was cute. I am so proud to say "yes I am pregnant".  To my surprise, the people who I thought would question "who the father is" have not. Some people don't ask at all. It could be becuase I have a special freind, whom is always around and they may be assuming he is the father. 

I know some of my fellow bloggers have been super sick during their pregnancies, SOOO sorry ladies!!! I can honestly say this has been so smooth. I pray labor and delivery is the same (such luck.. lol). I do tire really quick, but that is nothing compared to some of my fellow prego ladies.  Hang in there ladies, it will pass.

My family is in full swing planning a baby shower, yes already! They are so in love with the fact that I am having a baby, it just makes me so happy inside and out.  I think I am starting to look pregnant, some people say yes,  but most people say no. I did tell my boss and he was happy for me. Still debating how to tell my employees, they are a funny group of people. So I will probably do it all at once, so no one feel left out. 

In a nutshell, I am EXCITED and completely OVERJOYED with being pregnant and my CHOICE! Thank God for Choices!

Gotta a Buddy!!!

I found out about a week or so ago that one of my friends is also pregnant. I am completely overjoyed to have someone near to swap stories with that will actually understand the pain, queasiness, and sleepiness of pregnancy.

I am so happy for her :-)..  She is deserving of motherhood!!! I am praying for her healthy pregnancy and baby!

We have started taking brief walks which helps me a lot. It is hard getting started but once I get going I am a-ok. Pregnancy has been good to me, no real sickness. It is seldom and not to severe when I get nausea, so I am feeling really blessed. That is not to say that my emotions are not haywire and I can't go through a full day without feeling like a need a pillow and bed.

I am really excited about my next few appointments, I get to hear the heartbeat at one and then will most likely find out the sex on the next. All in September!!! YEAH!!!

Can't wait!!!

How Amazing!

Life has been great and my baby is great as well. As promised, I am attaching the ultrasound from my last post (I know I am a little late):



Aww, cute little teddy bear!

 Since I am 35, I am considered high risk so I have been sent to a high risk doctor  that checks for genetic disorders. Some people may feel this is an inconvenience, but I do not. I feel blessed to be able to see my baby so often. Everyone has been so nice, they explained everything we went through my entire family history. But it did feel VERY weird not to be able to go into great detail about the other half of my baby. However, I took it in stride and they were very understanding and supportive.

My sister that lives in Baltimore happened to be in town so she was able to attend the appointment with me, which was very nice. My mom also came. It was a great visit. My baby looked great, they took a lot of measurements and there were no signs of trouble. They also took blood, so that will tell a little further if anything is going on. OMG my baby put on a reallll show. She was flipping over, turning her back to us, and turning toward us. Me, my mom and sister were all in tears looking at how active she was being. I was saying, that is "MY BABY", wow still sooo amazing! I was very shocked at how much she was moving around, like we were bothering her.. LOL.

I have 2 appointments in September one with my OB and another with the high risk doctor. At the high risk doctor I will have a level 2 ultrasound were I will be able to find out the sex. I am so amazed at how fast things are moving, but so overwhelmed with joy!  My brother wants to hear the heartbeat so he said he is going to come in town for my 1st appt in Sept. I am probably going to be crying again.. LOL So emotional.

I really have to admit, I am still afraid something may happen. As much as I have seen and as healthy as the doctors say my baby is, I am still completely frightened about miscarriage. I know I shouldn't be and i don't outwardly show it, but the thought is always there. I guess it is normal, I don't know.

I know I have not been as active on my blog, so please forgive me. But when I get home from work I want to rest. Been very tired. But I will try to do better! 



My baby waving at me!!!

 How amazing is that! God is good, just look at this baby growing!

To my Future Child: Always be sweet and caring to others. It will take you a long way in life!

Exhausted and Overjoyed!!!

I never thought I would love being pregnant so much. I have been completely exhausted on some days, but that is all so I will take it! No vomiting, very little nausea. I am feeling so blessed. However, I have been so tired a few days last week I had to work from home because I felt as if I was drugged and could not get out of bed. The joys of pregnancy, but I am loving every minute of it.

A lot of people have told me about the exhaustion, but wheww wee it is serious.

I am 10 weeks and 3 days today and I cannot believe how fast time is flying by. I had my very first appointment with my OB and it went absolutely fabulous.  Everyone at the office is so happy for me and it showed. Everything was positive. Because I am 35 they are taking extra special care of me, a few extra appointments, but I am ok with that too. More times to see my baby is a ok with me. They are also going to watch me closely for preclampsia, due to my horrible family history and my up and down battle with hypertension.  My pressure has been great, but again I am welcoming the extra care.

I got to see my baby today and I cannot believe what I saw. She actually looked like a baby and was moving around in there. (Sidenote: wishful thinking on the baby girl) But stopped abruptly as if she was shy and didn't want us to see her boogying in there.. LOL.. I was so overwhelmed with joy. I could not believe how much she has grown.  She is healthy and the doctor was very happy with our progress. She had a strong heartbeat. This is so amazing.

My mom went with me, and the joy on her face was priceless. She cried and cried. And since I am a sucker for seeing my mom cry I was crying too. My tears were also joy, but also feeling so blessed to be able to share with my mom who will be 70 this year. She is still kicking strong and plans to be very active in my baby's life.  I cannot believe how much this baby is loved already, but I do have some very loving people around me.

On the work front they still do not know, and since I just got promoted and I feel like things are about to be shifted around; my HR partner advised me to wait a few more weeks to make my announcement. Not that she feels there will be any ill feelings or actions, but just to see the directions so I can make a decision on what will be the least amount of stress on me during my pregnancy.  I am a little disappointed because I was asked did I want to interview for this prestigious role under my VP, but probably is not a good idea now, since he will require a lot of time and attention from me. I know I will have a lot of appointments, and I never want to give half of my expertise, so it may not be a good idea. It is funny how us women have so many choices to makes when we are in corporate America. Men do not have to deal with this and family matters never seem to come into play. Bottom line is this baby means the world to me and I am ok with passing up this opportunity. One thing I am a strong believer of, if something is for me it will be. I feel that way about this position, if it is for me it will be. Whether before or after the baby is born. I would not trade my current situation for the world, carrying this life is such an honor and a blessing!

I will have to share the picture of my little teddy bear once I scan it, she is sooo cute :-) Got a big ole head, that means lots of brains ;-). What a great day!!!! Thank you Lord!

Vacation, Birthday, and Appointments.. OH MY!!!

It has been a while since I have blogged. I have been on vacation, had another ultrasound, and a birthday since my last post.

I am 9 weeks and 2 days and enjoying being pregnant. I have not had any real sickness, I feel truly blessed. Only time I am every feeling sick is when I do not eat on time or eat enough. I do tire MUCH faster but I can handle that.

So I went to Hawaii for a week and had a very relaxing time. I literally did nothing attached to the computer except to pay bills. So that is one reason I have not blogged. I really enjoyed the time off. Away from work and the real world.  The only down fall was the plane ride and the fact that I wasn't really up for doing too much. But still had a great time. I tried to not complain but some days I felt down (physically) but kept on trying to move. All is all Hawaii was great and so glad I got away.

I came home to have 2 doc appointments on Wednesday and Thursday. My sister went with me to my appointment where I had another ultrasound and needless to say my sister was an hysterical crying mess. LOL. She was may more emotional than me. She was so happy to see my little one, I was too but she cried and cried. I do feel so very loved by my family and friends they are showing me so much support it is unreal some days. Thursdays appt was at my OB office with the OB coordinator. Very informative appointment. They told me all I should expect. Since I am 35 I have to go to 2 special appointments to specialist to check out my baby. Looking forward to seeing her (yes I said her.. wishful thinking) as much as I can. I do plan to have some genetic testing and such. I want to know as much as possible so I can be as prepared as I can.

Friday comes and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! I turned 35, I am pregnant, I got a promotion at work when I came back from vacay, and I am completely overjoyed with my life right now. I tell you God has truly given me some great gifts this year and it is so overwhelming some days. But I am being thankful and taking it all in. Went and had a great massage and had a great dinner with CD on my birthday. And then came Saturday. CD along with the tremendous help of DM gave me a surprise Casino Birthday party! How awesome is that! I tell you I am SOO blessed. I have some really great friends and family. Some days I can't believe this is my life. CD has truly been a God send to my life. I am not sure if he knows how much his friendship and compassion means to me. This is a very tricky situation, but I think we both are handling it well. I never wanted to force my life on him and I think he respects that. But his friendship is invaluable to me.  Also my family and close friends have been so awesome as well. When I started this process I thought I would feel lonely as a single mom by choice, but I do not. And I am rejoicing in that feeling right now. When most women get pregnant they usually have a spouse or boyfriend who is just as excited as the expected mom about the new baby. But I can honestly say I have like 10 people.. LOL How great is that!!!

Time seems to be flying and I am enjoying my pregnancy. I got a letter today from my OB office about my financial obligations, which caught me a little off guard. I was not expecting it, I tell you these insurance policies and doctors offices are a piece of work. But I will not complain, I will deal because my financial obligations thus far have been minimal compared to other women going through this so sucking it up now.. :-).

I have 2 more weeks before I make my grand announcement and I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I did tell one of my friends and for the first time I got that silence that I have not gotten yet but have been expecting. She seemed very shocked and had lots of questions about how I am going to tell my child, etc. I handled it well, but no one else I told had that reaction, they were just happy, so it was good practice for what is to come.

To my Future Child: You have been such a good baby thus far in my belly. Not causing me any trouble :-). I think we are going to get along great, you understand me already. I will tell you, you are one lucky little baby. You have so many people who love you soooooo much already. You are going to be so overwhelmed with love that I do not even think you or I are going to be ready for all of it. Your Nanny, Aunties, Uncle, Future Godparents, Cousins, and play Aunts and Uncles are so overjoyed that you are coming. I can't wait for you too meet this rowdy bunch :-) they are a hoot and going to keep you laughing! There will be days you may be confused but you have all of us to pick up the piece, just lean on us and we will make sure you are alright! We have your back! Love you bunches already and you are only about an inch big :-D!

Releived!!!

How do you describe relief... seeing your baby's heart beat for the first time.

This morning I was a complete wreck as I prepared for my doc appt. As you have read I had bleeding on Sunday, and I was ok with that. I felt as the nurse who called me said, it happens to a lot of women and I should be ok. I have spoken to some friends and family whom have had children and most of them experienced bleeding, so I was good.  Well this morning, reality set in and I realized that I may not have a viable pregnancy.

My optimistic thoughts went right out of the window and I went straight into meltdown mode. I started not to tell anyone, because I did NOT want to hear, "Don't stress, don't be negative, Stop worrying, etc." I wanted someone to understand that this was a feeling of the moment and I would be ok eventually, whatever the reason. But of course I wanted support and I got the things I didn't want to hear. But one of my friends who has 2 little girls. She understood me, she made me feel I was not crazy or a negative Nelly, but a concerned Mom. THANK YOU TW, I appreciate that so much.

I love all my friends but when they are going through, I try to never make them feel their feelings are not valid. But sometimes I feel the expectation is so much higher for me. I am suppose to suck it up and never complain or think the worst.  Last I checked we all can think the worst, some more than others. Including me. I am a realist and usually I internalize the unknown and think of all the what ifs, negative and positive. It is amazing how when you have a negative thought, the million positive thoughts you had goes right out the window and are so easily forgotten.  I am probably guilty of also doing this, so if I have I apologize.

Ok enough of that, onto the blessing of the day. CD meet me at my appointment, which I appreciated. He got mistaken for my husband a few times, but took it in stride.  I try to correct people, because I don't want him to "feel some kind of way" about it. The doctor comes into the office and he was awesome, I told him about the previous bleeding, so he got right to it.  And there it was.. My Little Baby!!! OMG, did you read that.. MY BABY!!!!



Isn't She/He Lovely

 Heart was beating strong 115BPM, growing strong and healthy. I am measuring a little over my actual weeks, but the doctor said that was great. CD gave me the most endearing touch on my arm when everything was ok, and that really calmed me. Not sure he knows how special that was to me. I am overjoyed and feeling so blessed. 

My heart and prayers go out to my fellow choice moms  and all moms whom are trying to conceive and been facing challenges and lose. I felt so empty today, just thinking of the doctor turning the monitor and saying "Sorry this is no longer a viable pregnancy". I know my moment of emptiness has ended, but please know you are in my thoughts and I wish and pray for the very best. I know today's post could be different for me and I want you all to know I have the deepest compassion for you all. Keep the faith and do not give up on your dream.

To my Future Child: Well it has truly started our journey, our hearts will now and forever be in synch. I love you even more after seeing that little heart beat today, I never thought I could love you more. As a friend said today "It all begins with a heartbeat" and today I am confident about being your Mom and confident that you will be my child.

6 Weeks and 1 Day.. But uhhh ohhhh?!?!?!

Those who know I am pregnant have been asking me have I had any morning sickness, but no I have not had much.  At least I have not had anything horrible like I have heard from family and friends. I do have tender breast, some back pain, LOTS of irritability, Lots of pottying especially at night, and if I wait to long to eat, I feel nauseous.

So today makes 6 weeks and one day. So excited and overjoyed about being pregnant. And I am also pregnant with one of my closest friends and cousin! She is about 5 months ahead of me. But it is exciting!!!

Well here comes the uhhh ohhhh. I woke up this morning and realized that sometime overnight I had done some spotting/bleeding.  No more since then (prayers going up). Didn't know it happened until I looked down, while I was talking to my sister on the phone, and there it was in my clothes. It was not so heavy that it got in my bed. But it worried me a lot. The most ironic thing is, just before I called my sister and went to use the bathroom.  I read my daily message "via babycenter on my phone, yes there is an app for that.. LOL" and it spoke about bleeding during pregnancy.  I had been looking everyday to see if I had any an when the message started to talk about bleeding I was like I don't need this no bleeding for me.. GOOOO! But little did I know it had happened, dang on it. So me and my sister called my mom who was with 2 of my sisters and aunt. So we talked for hours and they took my mind off things.  I did call the doctor to tell them and see what they say, no call back yet.

My back has been hurting, like how I felt the day before I found out I was prego.  I will not sit here and say this is not on my mind, but I am trying VERY hard to not be overly stressed, but take it in stride. I hear a lot of women have spotting/bleeding and have a very normal pregnancy. SO that is what I am claiming.  Just my body going through some changes but my baby is A OK!

I have been positive thus far, not trying to dwell on all the bad things that could happen and enjoy it. So I am going to work very hard to keep up with the same attitude. Prayer is helping.. LOL